by 14thdaymom
My last post about the BREAKING NEWS in Houston where a judge made an unprecedented move when ordering CPS to have NO CONTACT with children it removed from their natural home.
At the end of the video a statement is made that I think needs to be reiterated, and that’s how big a deal it is to take a child from their parents.
IT IS A HUGE DEAL.
It is against the constitutional rights of the parents and the kids!
How big a deal is it? Its been 14 years since my son was taken from me. We have since been reunited now that he’s an adult, but not without scars. As I tried to share in my posts about ambiguous loss, parents often learn the hard way, as I did, how hard it will be when they meet back up with their kids one day.
The expectations of what will happen when they reunify and what actually happens are not the same. It blindsides them when what they’ve built up in their minds are expectations almost impossible to meet. Kids who were separated from their families grow into dysfunctional adults, and the parents never heal.
The family in Houston lost their children for three days. That’s horrible and it’s awesome to know it was acknowledged as wrong. I lost TEN YEARS with my son. The judge showed justice in their case, but there’s countless other families who did not get that justice. It is a big deal to take children from their families. It’s such a big deal that it NEVER GOES AWAY.
No matter what. It is a lifelong curse. The kids become a case number to the social worker but the social worker becomes the person that changed that kids life path entirely. A decision like that will affect them for the rest of their lives.
There is nothing that can make that right. There would be no amount of money that could fix the damage done to my relationship with my son. There is no telling how our lives would have fared if he had not been taken from me. NOTHING can mend that pain that I still feel EVERY DAY, even 14 years later. Some days are better than others. Some days I might almost go without thinking about it, but something will always remind me. Some days I can’t escape it. I can’t go back in time, and I can’t erase the memories. I still feel the anger and have to stuff it inside. I still carry guilt just comes with the questions … the could’ve been, should’ve been torture.
Its been 14 years and still it is a big deal. Fortunately I have the support and understanding of two people very close to me. My husband who was put in a boys home 30 years ago but recalls it like it was yesterday. My best friend sadly understands as well since she lost her kids too many years ago. She still has not reunited with hers. They are adults now too, after 9 years since they were separated. She suffers the grief so deeply. It truly haunts her.
I can talk to her or my husband any time I need to. i know it’s been 14 years and sometimes I catch myself feeling like I’m just repeating myself over and over again. I know that they’ve both heard my story and thoughts a thousand times over.
They know that they’ve heard my story before. Still, they listen to me with understanding and compassion like it’s the first time I’ve told them.
That’s because they understand how big a deal it was when my kid was taken from me.
If only the CPS workers had understood what a big deal it was when they took him from me.
